We eat out far too often for our own good; fortunately, however, we’re blessed with good restaurants that rely heavily on local, organic foods. We can find grass-finished beef and bison burgers, spicy vegetable curries, fresh sashimi, colorful soups and beautifully composed salads, but one thing remains the same: the kid’s menu. While my husband and I can choose to start our meal off with artisan cheeses or spiced olives before following up with a salad of gorgonzola cheese and pears over arugula and a nice juicy elk steak, our child invariably has three choices: buttered noodles, chicken fingers or a hamburger with fries. Nevermind if your child suffers from food allergies: you’ve no recourse at all. You know, kids have tastebuds too. If I can enjoy the rich depth of lamb carpaccio served with a bright pecorino and dotted with fresh mint, you bet my kid can enjoy it too. An offering of consistently dull foods doesn’t allow children to explore the variety of tastes, textures, scents and colors that our foods provide.
Eating is more than fueling our bodies with nutrients or garbage: it’s a sensory experience, or at least, it should be. There’s life beyond macaroni and cheese, french fries and peanut butter sandwiches. I hear a lot of complaints about picky kids: “That may be all fine and well for you, Jenny, but my kid would never eat sushi / fennel / kefir / what have you.” And while it’s inevitably true that some kids are just picky and that no one can appreciate every flavor (except maybe Andrew Zimmern), we learn to love the foods that we’re exposed to. If children are only ever offered chicken fingers and buttered noodles, they’ll only develop a taste for chicken fingers and buttered noodles. In our home, except for a few brief weeks in which I prepared my son’s first foods as mashes and spoon fed him, he has always eaten what we eat.
At nine months, he’d sit on my lap at the sushi bar and gobble up seared ahi sashimi and ikura – those beautiful little luminescent orange balls of fishy goodness. He’ll order his steak “bloody” and insists on eggs over easy and can appreciate the sweet complexity of a well-roasted head of garlic. And, get your phones ready to call child protective services, I even let my toddler try a sip or two of wine from time to time. I want him to grow to appreciate and value food, because it’s valuable and worth appreciating.
The other day we lunched at the Ginger Café which, blessedly, does offer a decent children’s menu of two items (ginger fried rice and peanut noodles) which are just miniature and less-spicy versions of Thai Fried Rice and Pad Thai. Instead, he powered through a bowl of flaming hot, sear your tongue off Tom Yum Goong. The soup is beautiful – a lemongrass and kaffir lime broth flavored with explosively fresh chilies. Mushrooms, tomatoes, prawns and cilantro flesh out the soup. And, hot as it was, he continued to eat it – coughing and sputtering at heat of the chilies. Why? Because it was a good, good soup and even children can appreciate a well-composed dish. So, when we head out to eat, It saddens me to see so few options for children. Why would I make my child suffer through a mealy, funky GMO-laced corndog when I know he can appreciat the butternut squash soup dotted with cranberries and pepitas? And, you know, I don’t think he’s alone.
If permitted to explore the flavors and artistry of real food, other children would appreciate it too. It’s time to redefine the kid’s menu. Give up the buttered noodles, the chicken fingers, the macaroni and cheese. Toss out the corn dogs, the hot dogs and the uninspired cheeseburgers. And, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches will never deserve a place on a menu. In essence, if you wouldn’t serve it to paying adults, don’t serve it to kids! So I implore restaurant owners and chefs everywhere: Please, for the love of all that’s beautiful, rethink your kids menu. It’s simple: offer smaller plates of your popular dishes.
And, a note to you parents: Never ever tell your child, “Oh, you wouldn’t like that.” Let your son or daughter determine the flavors he or she loves. Remember, kids have tastebuds too and we all deserve good food.
Hi Jenny,
I agree, it’s a shame that children’s menus are so limited. I think the problem starts with the parents who feed themselves and their kids so much processed foods that they lose their taste for real food. As a result, I don’t think many kids would opt for menu items based on natural whole foods.
I don’t eat out all that often, but it certainly is nice to do it once in a while. You’re fortunate to have such healthy options near you! I’m jealous!
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Kudos to you! If and when I have children, I certainly plan to follow suit. Including the part about wine, which is an old old Italian tradition. Have you read any of Angelo Pellegrini’s essays? He has one in particular about this very subject.
I don’t have kids, but I do work in a restaurant… We don’t have a kid’s menu, but that doesn’t stop the demands for buttered noodles and plain cheese pizza. It’s disappointing because we have such beautiful salads and antipasti, flatbreads with flavorful toppings, pasta dishes that actually have some thought behind them… and even more disappointing because 90% of the time, it’s the parents that order for the kids…
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Hi Jenny,
I do agree with you! At my home, my kids alway’s eat what I make, no special “kids” meals. Whether they only have 2 or 3 bites, at least they’re getting the taste of different foods. My oldest will be 3 next month. It’s amazing and exciting to see his palate of different foods open!
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I try to do this with my children. This is what we have to eat. I put it on their plates. But, it is always a hit or miss. I hate making two separate meals. I can’t let my oldest daughter go hungry if she refuses a food either. I try hard with this. I do believe she eats many foods I wouldn’t touch as a child because I have consistently put them in front of her. Broccoli, cucumbers, steak, carrots, etc… It’s the richer flavors that she doesn’t appreciate as much. Beef Tarjne was one I had to beg her to eat eventhough she likes peas and steak. She is really big on the looks of food.
I agree about restaurant menus. We have a week of traveling ahead and a huge cooler to pack because of that.
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I totally agree with this. So many kids have the “mini corn dogs” automatically ordered for them, and I just don’t get it. I was picky when I was a kid, but I heard a lot of “you won’t like that.” and my Grandma also wasn’t particularly good at making veggies appetizing. A couple of my friends, who are vegan, have a little boy whose favorite snacks are fruits and veggies, and will reach in the fridge for tofu cubes. Some people are amazed, but that’s what he’s been presented with. It’s what he knows is delicious.
I have always wished that restaurants offered instead of children’s menus, children’s portions. Anything on the menu, but smaller. Or maybe a selection of regular menu items, but smaller.
Great post, Jenny!
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I couldn’t agree more. I often hear from other moms, “My child won’t eat anything other than macaroni and cheese!” However, I know that if let my children, they would eat pizza every night for dinner and pancakes every morning for breakfast. Instead, we talk to them about what are the priorities on their plate, like leafy greens and fresh fish, and encourage them to only eat until they are full, but that they WILL NOT BE GETTING ANYTHING ELSE TO EAT.
I live in one of the most unhealthy parts of the country, the south (no offense), and there are few restaurants that offer healthy menus, yet for children. We typically order an adult meal for our children and split it between them and it’s cheaper too!
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So true! The crap offered to kids on menus is horrific. I’m so happy to hear about your kiddo eating all kinds of good things. This means you’ve done a great job exposing him to flavors of all kinds and not letting the media infiltrate his mind to make him think he only wants to eat GoGurt.
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What a great post! I whole-heartedly agree and my I am impressed with that bowl of soup! My oldest won’t do spice but my 18 month old doesn’t mind a little kick in his Cambodian at farmers’ market
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I am so with you! I have four children and they have always eaten what we eat. I totally believe that if they don’t have an option, they will eat what they are served. And believe me, that survival gene is way too strong for them to starve themselves! But really, I only have ever had a problem with one of them, and she has to eat at least three bites of whatever she has proclaimed distaste for before she is allowed to actually make up her mind. About 80% of the time, she will then eat it all without complaint. The other 20%, she goes without a meal. (This didn’t even start until she was 5!) People can’t believe the kinds of veggies and meats and spices and cheeses that my kids will happily chow down!
Honestly, I have always wanted to open an organic cafe for kids with tons of healthy and yummy options that even “picky” kids will eat. Someday…but maybe we need to work a little more on the parents first…
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It is true here in Denmark as well- childrens menus sucks !
In southern Europe I have found it easy just to order a small version of the real menues- but here in N. Europe it is often based around fast food – sadly.
I think one of the issues is that when grown ups eats bland and processed foods = they serve childrens versions of that.
Just look at the first foods for babies; rice gruel, breads, mashed potatoes, mashed bland veggies, fuits etc.
My daughter was fed acording to baby led weaning and she just had what ever I had.
Prefered her potatoes with garlic butter
Her favourite meal at two; asparagus, with lumpfish roe, blinis and sour cream.
Now as a teen she is somehow more easy to adopt bad habits from the outside world
- she is totally grossed out about animal fat on meat – but still happily eats plenty of butter and cheese.
and yes she has a taste of my wine and beer as well= she does not want to get drunk- some wine and cider taste pretty good- but she knows it is somthig you enjoy with your meal while her friends sneak to drink softdrinks with vodka just to loose control and act up !
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ITA that the kid’s menu is lacking but it is strictly marketing and cost factors. They (restaurants) know that our society is taught that majority of kids only eat those basics (we see it on commercials all the time). So they are not going to spend the money to offer up a better meal for the occassional diner who wants something more for their child than chicken fingers and mac n cheese. It would be nice to have the option of ordering an adult meal on a smaller scale and priced accordingly. Unfortunately, the people who read your blog are probably the ones who already expose their kids to better foods and so the ones who need to read it (to realize there is more out there for their kids) will continue on their way.
I am currently a dietitian student and have very close friends that will not expose their kids to better foods, no matter what info I share with them. I honestly believe that the strong marketing (and guilt trip) that we are exposed to is a huge contributor of why kids eat so plainly (or badly). I grew up a “picky” eater. I realized later on I wasn’t exposed to many new foods (for many different reasons) and that in turn, is what caused me to turn my nose up at delicious foods. Thank goodness I ventured out in college and now eat a wide variety of yummy foods and am teaching my children to do the same. My 4 yo eats raw spinach (something I would never do…even at 18).
Sorry for the long post….I am passionate about children’s nutrition and hope to see the current trend change…..baby steps.
That pretty well sums up what it’s all about, doesn’t it? Nice work Mom!
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I have a 3 yr old and 1.5 year old and totally deal w/this every day. In our house we follow a paleo diet and do our best to feed our kids a 30/40/40 balanced paleo meal (i.e. zoleo diet). However there are times when they just want the junky stuff. Try explaining the health benefits of the paleo diet to a 3 year old! I feel a little guilty inside everytime I see them eat something with glutens in it, because I know what it’s doing to them.
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Jenny, BRAVO!!!!!
This is one of the best posts I’ve read on kids and food.
I have four kids (like tammy) and they all have very different tastes.
when they get hungry, they’ll eat. Don’t give in and don’t let them snack. this includes fruit in the beginning. Once you’ve made a good amount of progress, you can starting giving them little snacks here and there. A loved snack at my house is baby carrots wrapped in salami. (they would have laughed at me 3 years ago had I tried to feed them that) Keep at it and you will get there with the kidlets. Thanks again Jenny for the great post!
My son LOVES sushi and sashimi, when he was six (now 10) he would eat tuna and everyone would stare. He loves his wasabi and spicy foods. My oldest 14, hates spicy food. She’s somewhat stuck in macaroni land….I just don’t make it, she loves all sorts of fish made with lots of butter and herbs. My 12 year old likes it all and will try anything. My youngest (8) who has been eating what I eat since age 2 is something to behold. I call her my “T-rex”. She Just loves protein doesn’t matter what kind. Won’t touch rice, pasta or bread.
She’s a kid…she likes her candy but eats real food only and lots of it.
To everyone with picky eaters…
I took me 3 months to make the transition. Make a good tasting “real food” meal and eat with them. If they don’t like it…. too bad.
Marc
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Kids are extremely inclined to eat what’s in front of them – and if it’s junk, well then, junk they will eat. Whenever I have conversations about food with other parents, there is always the deer-in-headlights look I get about feeding my son traditional foods. They inevitably parrot back, “my child would never eat that”. I say if you just leave it at that, your child indeed will never get beyond corndogs, chicken nuggets, hamburgers, fries, and pizza. Who’s the adult here? If you let a child do whatever it wants, that’s just what you’ll get! And yes, it takes time. But the time you spend…3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months…whatever, is so worth it to break out of the terrible cycle of your child not wanting to eat what you’ve prepared for lunch, dinner, or breakfast. Do you want to always be preparing special meals for your child just to cater to their warped taste buds that are really only in that condition because they have been allowed to eat garbage by their own parents? I rest my case. Here’s a link to my article about meals for children being unhealthy…http://agriculturesociety.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/meals-for-children-restaurants-and-school-lunches-are-lacking-in-nutrition/
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I wish I could say that these tactics worked with my kids but they haven’t so far for us yet. How do you make your kids try even three bites? My kids are 2 and 4, and if they are determined to not eat something, they won’t eat a single bite. I don’t believe in forcing kids to eat, I feel like it is just setting up further power struggles.
My husband and I just try to set a good example and eat a wide range of healthy foods ourselves, hoping that this will eventually rub off on the kids.
We don’t make a separate meal for them, but they just end up eating minimally at the table – white rice, tortilla, pasta etc. Then they may have a piece of fruit for a snack later. It drives me crazy but I try not to react too much.
Jenny, or other readers with older kids, is this just a phase young kids go through and will they eventually give in and start trying foods? Any tips you could give me?
I’m so happy to see so many people who mirror my feelings on this matter and value feeding their kids real food! I can definitely see the situation from the restaurant owners perspective as well: we’re in the minority and that is a sad, sad state of affairs.
Amy -
For us, everything I offer at our table – including desserts – is pretty nutrient-dense so if we have one of those days when my son refuses the meal and eats the dessert or refuses the meat, but eats the starchy vegetable; I don’t worry too much and figure that at least what I’ve offered is good. I think kids, when offered only healthy foods, will eventually choose a well-rounded menu for themselves. Of course, there’s some weeks when my son barely eats and others when he eats so much I cringe at the thought of what he’ll pack away in his teenage years!
There’s been some hypothesizing by anthropologists that a toddler’s picky palate is an evolutionary mechanism that keeps them safe from potentially hazardous foods.
For us, though, he eats what we serve or he doesn’t eat. I never make big deal over his refusing food (tonight, for example, he ate three bites and said he was done and that was a-okay with me). One helpful factor, though, is really ensuring that everything on the table is nutrient dense. So if he only chooses to eat one aspect of the meal, it’s still pretty darn healthy.
Kids are tough, man. Good luck!
I agree! It’s so sad to see. No wonder so many of our little ones suffer from ear infections, colds, allergies, and skin disorders.
Good tips too on how to work with kids that are fussy. I like what Sally Fallon says… (I’m paraphrasing) you can’t get too obsessed about what your kids eat. Unless they live under a rock, they’ll discover white sugar and processed foods. The important thing is to have nutrient dense meals at home, model good eating behaviors, educate them on the drawbacks of processed foods (when they’re old enough) and pray that they have good sense!
I don’t have kids yet, but I’m planning on feeding mine just as you do. If I was sitting in that Thai restaurant watching your son eat tom yum soup I would have been beaming from ear to ear!
Congratulations on preparing him for a life full of culinary adventures and delights
Fantastic writing too. Great article. Thanks.
I’m glad I found this site! My seven year old son loves food and cooking and says he’s going to own a restaurant when he grows up. He is fascinated by food, mostly healthy stuff.
Very cool! My boys, even my oldest who is fascinated by food, seem to live on chicken and french fries. There’s got to be a better way!
Well said. I applaud all who make an effort to expose their children to different types of food.
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I would just like to add cost is also part of this.A kids menu is a lot cheaper then an adult entree. If there were good options at a reasonable price that might help. My kids now will split (when they are not fighting and want to disagree with each other) an adult entree for better food. I also find myself sharing meals with them. They grew up on natural organic food. They think a hamburger is a treat. I dont want to deny them of this. They should be able to go to Mc Donals BDay pary. Though my kids do not order the kids meals they have fun trying new things(not like the chiken wrap is much better) But they like it when I take them to my favorite vegetarian resteraunt and order something from there. You need to teach your kids diversity so they will make the right choices when you are not around.
It’s so refreshing to see this! I’ve been saying this same thing for years. My kids are 12, 10, and 4. We’ve been doing Traditional Nutrition since they were 3 and 1 (and a gleam in Daddy’s eye). But even before that, I was disgusted by picky eaters. In college I once went out for pizza with a group, and one of the guys there didn’t want anything but cheese pizza. He was not vegetarian, but picky. When people realized he was serious, he started getting upset. Then we realized that, thinking about it, we’d never seen him eat anything other than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Captain Crunch!
So even before I found out about Traditional Nutrition, my husband and I had talked about preventing our kids from becoming picky. I ate lots of spicy food while pregnant so they could get used to it. I nursed them a long time, while eating lots of different flavors. We frequently ate at the home of Vietnamese friends, where they learned to like nuk mam and things I can’t spell. My oldest daughter at 3 would beg for sushi at Wild Oats, and people would goggle as my toddler would devour it. Or when my son, at 13 months, would gleefully dunk a breadstick into balsamic vinegar until it was soaking, and sit sucking on it. Balsamic vinegar is more popular in my home than ketchup, by far.
And we took kombucha to the ball park for them to drink during their ball games.
Alas, one little boy I babysat kept getting sent with white bread baloney sandwiches. My 3-year-old son had never had one and learned to like them. He did mildly picky for awhile, but it was also a sensory integration thing. He’s back to normal now.
My son is 8 years old and for the first 4 1/2 years of his life he ate the SAD with some organic foods. When I realized what I was doing to him and our whole family, we changed very drastically right off the bat. Now, there was a great deal of resistance, but one of the problems we had from early on was that I insisted he eat the food we prepared and his father continually prepared him special meals. He learned at an early age that he could get whatever he wanted because Dad gave in. I don’t believe in doing that. It should be “this is what we’re having for dinner, and if you don’t want it then you will just have to go hungry”. This may sound really cruel and harsh, but I guarantee you that if you ALLOW your kids to dictate the rules, you’ll have nothing but trouble as they get older. So there should be no power struggle, just “this is how it is”. And guess what? My son really only “went hungry” for about two meals. Why? Because he figured out that if he wanted to eat, he’d better do it when I put dinner on the table. And sure, he gets treats sometimes, but those are special occasions only and I try to buy something organic and minimally processed or I make it at home from scratch with good ingredients. Also, if you are like we were some years ago and feed your children processed foods with no nutrition on a regular basis, then yes, it will be that much harder to convert them over. But I maintain that if you just set the rules down and be firm (don’t engage in power struggles, that never works), sooner or later (and usually it’s sooner because they get hungry!), they will eventually eat the good food you have put in front of them. Otherwise, what you are setting yourself up for is a lifetime of bad eating habits and throwing fits because they want the pasta, the tortillas, and the sugar.
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At 9 and 11 my kids are insulted when presented with a kid’s menu. My 9 year old politely asks for the menu of “real food”. It would be nice if the children’s menu just had smaller portions of regular menu offerings. How difficult is it to serve everything with a salad instead of french fries?
Thank you so much for posting this! I love the picture of your son eating that soup. I am definitely going to give this some more thought. I would love for my children to enjoy real food when we go out to eat.
I completely agree with you-in theory! My first 2 years with kids we ate healthy, including as much organic everything as possible, tofu, sushi, etc. Then we moved to Big Agribusiness-ville Nebraska, where organic food is unheard of (except what I am able to grow in the back yard), and good restaurants don’t exist even for grown-ups, let alone kids. Now that I have a 3 y/o and 2 y/o, we have fallen into the trap of just ordering grilled cheese (1 for them to share, with a side of overcooked, limp broccoli), because it has the best chance of being edible. The stuff we order for us is hit-or-miss, and we certainly share as much of ours with the kids as they will eat, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. But the grilled cheese often gets left untouched as much as anything else.
While we’re on the subject, why doesn’t McD’s offer their Fruit and Walnut salad as a happy meal option? I’ve even asked my friend who works at McD’s corporate HQ, and got no response. So, my kids often get just a bag of apples and bottle of milk when we go to McD’s. It’s all they’ll eat anyway….
To those of you in civilization, take advantage of your location, and be sure to eat some sushi for me!
I always feed my almost-2-year-old daughter whatever we eat (unless it’s taking to long to make and she’s tired — then I resort to the standby of scrambled eggs), but when she doesn’t want something she’s stubborn. I was in the “let them be hungry” camp until she would scream herself to sleep and wake up all night wanting to nurse. If she didn’t like it, the only substitute was Mama milk. She could scream all night with us trying to console her without giving in and giving her milk. So now if she doesn’t eat much at dinner I casually offer a smoothie before bed. It usually has yogurt, berries, and some nut butter in it. She loves it, it fills her up, and we all sleep. She hasn’t figured out yet that if she doesn’t eat dinner she gets a smoothie and we might need to change tactics when she does, but for now a healthy alternative seems the best option.
Pippi -
I think feeding your daughter what you prepare for yourself is spot-on, though there’s been more than a few nights when I whip up scrambled eggs for my little guy when I’m exhausted and won’t get supper on the plate until well after his 7:00 p.m. bedtime. We’re in the let-him-go-hungry camp now that he’s turned four, but I wouldn’t and didn’t take that approach when he was under two. I’d always offer a before bed snack regardless of whether he ate his supper or not until he was about 2.5 or so. Last night he didn’t eat and chose to go straight to bed then I woke up at about 2:00 a.m. after hearing a commotion in the kitchen; he’d woken up hungry in the middle of the night and was fixing himself a midnight snack!
Take Care -
Jenny
Great article. Children’s menus are truly depressing. Unfortunately the mimic the adult menus which are junk as well in most chain restaurants. Bland fried fatty foods for the adults and bland fried fatty food in smaller portions for the kids. My daughter loves sushi and Thai coconut soup. This wasn’t by accident. We love to eat these things and she’s been exposed to it since she was a toddler.In my home we do a child’s tasting menu to liven things up.I wrote about it here Feeding Picky Eaters. Thanks.
Haley, I really like your idea of offering children portions instead of children’s menu. Maybe one option is to take the full portion for the child and bring the rest home.
Great post! I totally agree with you! My three children are the same way! On the rare occasion that we go out to eat, we always order several “adult” dishes, ask for extra plates and share everything family style. People are often surprised that our children have such grown up tastes. I too, have fed my children what we eat and they prefer home cooked meals over the fast food!
I have a step son who visits us on occassion and it saddens me that he refuses to eat what the rest of the family eats and his diet consists of the traditional American fast food (grilled cheese, quesadilla, PB&J, cheese pizza and pasta with cheese). I don’t force him to eat, I just ask him to take one bite of what the rest of us are eating, sometimes he does and sometimes he cries. Which is really sad, because I don’t want him crying over food, so it’s always “what do you want with your cheese today?”
My other three children always ask why their older brother won’t eat what we eat and I just tell them that he likes what he likes. for the longest time the poor kid thought that salt was “spicy”, but he loves McD’s chicken nuggets and fries! Very food confused child, but I keep trying with every visit to expand his taste buds
Absolutely agree. I was lucky enough to have parents like you, and in kindergarten, my favorite food was a toss up between sashimi and king crab. I have been ingrained with a deep appreciation for food which has inspired creativity in the kitchen and provided me with a variety of healthy options without ever sacrificing flavor. Let’s not limit our children!